Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Public Service Announcement

A lot of companies nowdays require that their sales folks attempt to sell you additional items. If they fail to do so, they'll get written up and eventually fired for it. The cashier probably couldn't care less if you buy what they offer, but they have to ask. Whenever you are at the checkout and are asked if you want something else remember this.....

Your "witty" comeback probably isn't. Unless you are 100% confident that you can deliver a line that the cashier hasn't heard before, just politely say no and then shut the hell up. "Why, is it free?" is not original. The person at the register has probably heard that same dumbass line a dozen times in the last hour. The only reason that he/she is still smiling is because they need the paycheck. If they are more than 4 hours into a shift and are still smiling, you really should worry. They are probably trying to figure out how much trouble they'd get in for ripping off your thumbs and jamming them up your nostrils.

Also, if you shop at a location regularly and tease the cashier about it enough, you will probably regret it. At the convenience store this week, I have asked one of the guys who gets his coffee and cigarettes from us if he wants 1) shampoo, 2) deodorant, and 3) toothpaste. He's going to wish that I would go back to just asking about a lighter or the newspaper. The next time that there are people in line to hear it, I'm going to ask if he needs tampons. I kind of wish that we carried hemorrhoid cream.

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